1. I believe that the thesis is implied, and that it is "I want a wife who will do everything."
2. By repeatedly stating "I want a wife" the author is showing to the reader the vast multitude of things that wives do.
3. The author means wife not as "A female who is married" but as "A person who makes sacrefices for my convenience." If she does get a "wife," he will obviously be male.
4. The author is suing satire to show how much stuff wives do and how no person like what most husbands expect can really exist.
5. The author defines "wife" in the many acts that she sarcastically expects wives to do. She wants her readers to be outraged at how everything that is expected of wives by society.
Ima work on the following later:
6. To Brady:
I want a wife too.
-Mas
7. I want a dog who will hug me everytime I get home. I want a dog who will not complain when I forget to feed it and just take the hunger like a man. I want a dog who will never get dirty and wash itself every night. I want a dog who his toilet-trained.I want a dog who will mow my lawn for me. I want a dog who will work as a newspaper delivery dog to get money to pay for its own food. My god, who wouldn't want a dog?
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