Scary Story

I've seen many scary things in my life: zombie, vampires, Saw III, Justin Beiber. However, the sacriest experience I've ever had was defintely the time I had to single-handedly fight off a werewolf apocalypse, back in june of '08. I was peacfully eating apple pie in my lovley home when I heard a tapping on my chamber door. "I must be some visitor." I muttered to myself. I went to open the door but all there was was a ghoulish gust of wind. As I went back to my room and sat in my chair, I heard another tapping at my window lattice. I opened the window and a giant bird flew in and clawed at my face. "The early bird gets the - die!" I said and ripped the bird in half and ate it. The slimy blood of the dead bird tasted good, but not as good as other foods, such as corn or maize. Suddenly, the ghost of the dead bird came back and haunted me. I punched it in the face and killed it again, but it came back and haunted me again. No matter how many times I slugged it, it wouldn't stay dead for very long.Then, my gaze was suddenly attracted towards my calender. An ominous whooshing noise filled the air, and the numbers changed from 6/13/08 to 8/31/06 - Halloween. "Treatchery! Whichcraft!" I cried. Suddenly, a werewolf army came crashing through my wall. "We come in piece." Said the head werewolf. "But you come in - pieces!." And he ripped me in half, lengthwise. I looked at my other half and it smiled at me. I didn't want to be impolite so I smiled back. Then, the two of us shanked the head werewolf to death. "You killed casper!" yelled the other werewolves. "But I did not shoot the deputy." I retorted, and picked up a gourd and threw it at the werewolves. While they were distracted with the intricate, black and purple patterns on the gourd, I used my power of swag to reattach myself. Then, I got out my trustyswiss army knife and cut the skin off the werewolf I killed and wore his skin so that the other werewolves couldn't recognize me. As the werewolves went back to their hotel room, I came with them and tried not to act suspicious. Then, once we were back at the hotel, I got in the elevator to get down one level since I was hungry and room service wasn't answering for some reason. Suddenly, the doors of the elevator slammed shut. The light got darker, and blood starting dripping down the walls. An eerie voice filled the air. "I am Pumking, lord of the creepy jeepies. I am here to kill you, becuase you carved up my brother for haloween last night." "I didn't carve him up! He ended his own life because his girlfriend left him and he was layed off from Wendy's." I said. "Well this is ackward." Pumpking replied. "Hey wanna hang out sometime?" I asked. "Sure." he said. Then I killed him and ate him.

The End

Jail House Rock

1. "I came across your recent statement calling my present activities 'unwise and untimely.' Seldom do I pause to answer criticism of my work and ideas."

The King is setting the stage to respond to his critics.

2. "You deplore the demonstrations taking place in Birmingham. But your statement, I am sorry to say, fails to express a similar concern for the conditions that brought about the demonstrations.:

The King states that the clergy view demonstration as a bad thing, and reponds with his own view that the reasons for demontration are worse. The King then goes on to describe the steps of nonviolent demonstration.

3. "You may well ask: 'Why direct action? Why sit ins, marches and so forth? Isn't negotiation a better path?'...  Nonviolent direct action seeks to create such a crisis and foster such a tension that a community which has constantly refused to negotiate is forced to confront the issue."

The King is addressing questions that could theoretically be asked in order to strengthen his argument.

4. "Some have asked: 'Why didn't you give the new city administration time to act?" The only answer I can give to this query is that the new Birmingham administration must be prodded about as much as the outgoing one, before it will act."

The King is address a question that is commonly asked about his arguements. The King does not enumerate one specific speaker because the question is a common one. By addressing this type of question, the King is once again strengthening his arguement.

5. "One may well ask: 'How can you advocate breaking some laws and obeying others?' The answer lies in the fact that there are two types of laws: just and unjust."

The King knows that some of his arguements can seem contradictory, such as breaking laws to pressure government officials while also advocating folling of other laws such as the 1954 Surpreme Court decision outlawing segregation. The King adresses this contradiction in "They say / I say" form with a theoretical "they," to keep this arguements strong.

6. "In your statement you assert that our actions, even though peaceful, must be condemned because they precipitate violence. But is this a logical assertion? Isn't this like condemning a robbed man because his possession of money precipitated the evil act of robbery?"

The King states the a belief of the clergymen that condemns domonstrations and uses Reductio ad Absurdum to strengthen his own dissenting belief.

7. "It is true that the police have exercised a degreee of disipline in handling the demonstrators. In this sense they have conducted themselves rather 'nonviolently' in public. But for what purpose? To preserve the evil system of segregation."

The King uses an "implied" they say / I say maneuver. The implied "they say" is the question "Isn't the government ustified because the the nonviolent and disiplined actions of its police force?" The King adresses this throectical implied question without specifically stating it.

Exercise 2

In the introduction to "They Say / I Say": The Moves that Matter in Academic Writing, Gerald Graff and Cathy Birkenstein provide templates designed to aid people in mastering the basics of writing. Specifically, Graff and Birkenstein argue that the types of writing templates they offer will lay a foundation that aspiring writers can build upon. As the authors themselves put it, "invites you to become a certain type of person: a critical, intellectual thinker who, instead of sitting passively on the sidelines, can participate in the debates and conversations of your world in an active and empowered way."
Although some people believe that templates stifle creativity, Graff and Birkenstein insist that templates will make a writer more creative, not less, because mastering the basics of writing will open the doors to more creative expression. In sum, their view is that writing templates are a very effective way for the learning writer to formulate original content.
I agree. In my view, the types of templates that the authors recommend are important and effective. For instance, this essay, which is brimming with raw, untamed swag, was created with the use of these templates. In addition, the blog entry below this one, which is also brimming with raw, untamed swag, was also created with the use of a template. Some might object, of course, on the grounds that using templates is plagiarism, no matter how swaggaliquious the result turns out to be. Yet I would argue that no one person can own a conventional formula, and people like this do not recognize the difference between plagiarism and legitimate use. Also, these people underestimate the value of an essay that is brimming with raw, untamed swaggaliquiousness. Overall, then, I believe that the use of templets is a great way to encourage creative writing - an important point to make given that many people have swagless essays due to a lack of an understanding of the basics of writing.

Exercise 1 - Irradiated food (If I can't do it for my essay I'll do it here)

When many people think of nuclear radiation, they think of nuclear plants and chernobyl and people in HAZMAT suits and mutated lizards with six heads. They see radiation like poison, something that is better off far, far away. Similarly, they see objects that have been exposed to radiation as evil speaders of disease and cancer. However, radiation is not the malignant villain that most people percieve it as. On the contrary, radiation can be controlled very easily and objects that have been exposed to controlled doses of radiation are perfectly safe to be around. For the truth is, radiation can be effectivley utilized to safely and cheaply sterylize foods, wiping out any possible strains of salmonella or strains of maligant E. Coli. In fact, irratiadtion of food can even save lives. In this essay, then, closley examining the process of the irradiation of food will show that radiation is a safe and effective option to sterylize food.