Who is Mas Dijkstra? Part II - Revised

Who is Mas Dijkstra?

This isn't the first time I've been asked this, and yet, I have no truly good answer off the top of my head. I suppose this is normal, most people usually can't answer questions like this on the fly. Or at least I hope. Anyways, I'll do my best to describe myself without getting too David Copperfield-y.

Not entrirely unlike the average American of my age, I spend most of my free time on the internet, watching tv, or doing something with my friends. I don't hate school, but I always look forward to the weekends. I live alone with my mom, who is a teacher at a Columbus City School. My birthday is on August 29th, which is this Monday, so make sure to give me an A on this assignment. I will be turning 16, which is kind of young for a senior. That's mostly because I skipped a grade a long time ago. (It was in elementary school so it wasn't that big of a deal) I look a lot older than I really am too so I don't have a problem fitting in. I enjoy reading a lot, if you asked me what I'm reading right now I always answer with multiple books. I'm going to college at OSU next years and I plan to major in electrical engineering. You might think electrical engineering is a really specific major, but the fact is that it is really broad: Mr. Devore advised me that electricall engineering is the major to go to if your have no idea what you want to do for this reason.

So anyways, thats sort of like my mini-autobiography. I hope that it wasn't too David Copperfield-y. I guess the best way to know who I am is just to know me as a person since I'm not very good at explaining myself. Hopefully you will by the end of the semester.

Char - revised

"...And that is why securites maganement implementation conervation strategy is an integral paradigm to this company's internalized circular occupational institutionalized matters, which may or may not be partially or whooly curcumvented by research identification studies." droned Blair, the chairman of our company meeting. He droned on, and on, and although some people were listening, no one understood. Mostly, the meeting attendees were nodding off to the rythym of his voice. Personally, I was more focused on Blair's hair, which was nonexistent. I wondered which stamement was tru: that all bald people droned, or  that all people who droned were bald. I held with the latter belief, I have a flair for knowing  that kind of thing. Suddenly, out of the blue, and without warning, the droning stopped! Me and several other poor souls snapped back to reality, and looked around the room alertly to try to see what was going on. After 5 long hours, perhaps Blair had finally ajourned the meeting! Was it all over! Was it all finall over! The sweet taste of relief was in the air.But that was only partially true. In fact, a bear had broken into the meeting room and had bitten off Blair's head. it was a gruesome sight - blood spewed all over the place from his neck stump, like something out of a nightmare. All we could do was stare. The bear said something about Blair having started too many forest fires and left to return to his lair. He left Blair's body, mangled, tangeled, clawed-up and teared on the floor in a pool of his own innards and blood. It was eerie looking at his corpse lying there, next to his splintered chair, which was in need of repair. On the bright side, the meeting was over, although we did all have quite a scare.

The Saga of Horatio - Part II (Revised)

"Sir! Sir! We've got a problem!" the page yelled, running down the hallway. 'Talk." said Horatio. The page wasted no time. "Remember that Gorilla from t.v. that could ask for pickles using sign language?" he asked.  "Were they dill or sweet pickles?" inquired Horatio. "Dill." replied the page. "Anyways, he's been kidnapped!" he added. "What a sour fate!" lamented Horatio. "His kidnappers are the evil chicken lord Fowl Play, and his evil sidekick, Bad Egg!" lamented the page. "Heavens to Betsey!" exclaimed Horatio. "Thats not all - they left a ransom note! I'll email you a copy." informed the page. Horatio recieve the email on his iphone 4s and read the following ransom note:

wE haz cOCo De geurillA. no mOr picKelz fUr cOco unleZZ i rEcievE oNe mEtric tUn oF siLver bY midKnight.

Yours Truly,
Fowl Play

"Well, I guess Coco needs a sterling hero to save the day! Challenge accepted!" said Horatio.

After Horatio had geared, he activited stealth mode and starting casing Fowl Play's evil underwater chicken coop fortress. Unfortunatley for Horatio, Fowl Play had come prepared. Fowl Play's evil chicken suit henchmen were able to effortlessly detect Horatio's presence with their anit-stealth-o-matic horse detector. "Halt!" cried one of the henchmen. 'What is your intention!" Horatio put on his most innocent face. "Oh, I'm just passing by." he said meekly. "But you - are passing DIE!" and he whipped out his bronco blaster and voporized the henchmen. Horatio started to zap more henchmen when an evil underwater grade-A submarine horse-hunter tank started chargin him! The tank's evil anti-horse forcefield delflected Horatio's bronco blaster shot with ease, casing them to ricochet into nearby henchmen. "I'm gonna make like an excorsist-" said Horatio, "-and get the hell out of here!" Horatio activated speed mode to attempt to get away, but the tank activated turbo speed mode and was slowly closing in on him. Suddenly, Horatio crashed into a concrete wall. "Dam!" he exclaimed. Horatio then had an idea: he activated horse biceps omega mode and used his mechanical horse-pecs to lift up the dam, and bring it crashing down on the horse-hunted tank.

Horatio glanced at his mega-ultra-decimator watch, and saw that the time was 11:55. "Oh my! Only five minutes before that poor gorilla's final pickle!" exclaimed Horatio. In desperation, Horatio activated berserker mode and came crashing through the wall of Fowl Play's fortress. "Get Down!" the henchmen yelled in alarm, as Horatio came crashing through the door. "No, get DROWN!" retorted Horatio, as water came gushing into the evil chicken coop and suffocated the lungs of the henchmen. The water flowed in, and flooded and sinked the entire coop. As the entire fortress came crashing down to the bottom of the ocean, Horatio spotted an evil-turo-omega escape capsule that had the nerve to think that it could get away from him. Horatio swam up to the capsule and enetered it. In it was Fowl Play and Bad Egg. "Birds of a feather - DIE TOGETHER" cried Horatio and he activated dual weild schooled the duo with double bronco, saving the day yet again.

THE END